The Last Tsar

The throne room doors opened and Alexander III’s face lit up. The aura in the whole room had changed, as everything smelled sweet and flowery, and Alexander III could swear his vision had become rose-tinted.

The Teddies entered and walked up to the throne.

They were large human-sized teddy bears, magical creatures who had existed in Russia for a long time but had previously preferred to inhabit their lands which had been hidden from the eye of man.

Alexander III normally did not get up of his throne, no matter how large of standing a visitor was, to show dominance but in this case, he stood up to meet the Teddies’ king who was called Fluffles.

Alexander shook the king’s furry stump of a paw, putting as little force as possible and yet, still feeling his fingers sink into the fluffy flesh of the creature.

“Your Radiance, it is a pleasure to meet you,” said Fluffles smiling. His fur was a mixture of patches of light and dark pink, and he wore a sparkling crown that was made of rainbows. The representatives that followed him wore similar accessories; flowers, hearts and so on.

“A pleasure to meet you too,” said Alexander. “Your race truly fascinates me. We have learnt much from you and your magics.”

“Indeed, and we are grateful, for your fighting the Americans, who have continued to market our corpses in their markets… as kids’ toys…”

“It truly is a tragedy what has been done to your people,” said Alexander putting his hand on the king’s shoulder.

Fluffles looked Alexander in the eye and as he did so, the aura in the throne room suddenly changed and the tsar felt his heart drop. The teddy bear had glared at him, he was sure. He was starting to sweat.

That was the first time he had seen anger on the normally cheerful face.

All thoughts of Fluffles glaring at him quickly vanished, however, when the king smiled at him. The king gestured with his paw and two Teddy servants approached the tsar and bent down in front of him. They held between them a box.

“What is this?” asked Alexander in anticipation.

“A gift,” answered Fluffles.

Alexander opened the box and felt his mouth water. A sweet pinkish mist that tasted like powdered sugar rose from the most beautiful cupcakes he’d ever seen. There were some that had glitter raining down on them from a mini pink cloud, some that were joined by a mini rainbow and some that had magical hearts evaporating from them.

Alexander picked the one that had miniature sweet flowers growing on it. Fluffles eyes were glittering in anticipation as Alexander III took a bite.

“How is it?” asked Fluffles.

Alexander didn’t answer but his moans were more than enough an answer. The tsar felt like he was in the most fantastic garden as he bit into the sugary flowers, perhaps the garden of Eden itself. He saw an image of himself reaching up to an apple from a tree. It was the glossiest, blood-red apple he had ever seen in his life. He took a bite.

He coughed.

“Pardon me,” said Alexander III awkwardly. “It seems I forgot to chew.”

He coughed again, harder this time.

“Your Radiance, are you okay?”

“I’m fi-” he said before a fit of coughing took him over. When he was done, he looked down at his palm. It was covered in blood.

Alexander looked up and saw the king smirking at him. In the haziness that captured his vision, he saw quick movements behind the king as the Teddys pulled out guns from their pouches.

“Why?” asked the tsar not looking up. Spit mixed with blood dribbled to the ground below him.

“Your rule has done nothing to protect us even though we have given you plenty of our magic,” The tsar felt a gun being pressed to his head. “It is time for a new rule. The time of the tsars is over.”

He heard the gun fire but no pain followed. He looked up, struggling to crane his neck up. He felt someone grab him from under his arm and raise him up.

It was his servant, Andrey. He had a pistol in his hand. “Your Radiance, we must get away from here.”

The tsar followed where his servant guided him, the haziness of his vision getting stronger. Everything was a blur. Soon enough, he found himself in a chair which he instantly recognized as the one in his office. He closed his eyes for a bit.

“Your Radiance,” he felt his servant’s cold hands on his cheeks as he shook him. “Please, Your Radiance, wake up. You have to stay awake, fight the poison.”

“We are no match for their concoctions, Andrey. My time is done. But there is still one of us left,” said Alexander III struggling to raise himself up in his chair. He grabbed a parchment and a fountain pen, and began scribbling on it as fast as he could, occasionally coughing blood on to it.

When he applied the seal to it, he handed it to his servant.

“Here. You must take it to Nicholas, quickly.”

“But, Your Radiance… I cannot possibly…”

“Andrey… there is no point staying with me. My time is finished… but maybe he still has a chance. He needs to be warned. Now go.”

“But…”

“Go! That is an order.”

That was the last thing Alexander III said before succumbing to the poison.

***

Nicholas II sat in his dark study when he received the letter. He read it carefully, making sure he understood everything that was written in the convoluted handwriting. He sighed when he had finished reading it.

He got to work on a parchment and stamped it when he was done. It was a law that would be passed, effective immediately, to outlaw cupcakes in the land.

“Oh god, why?” he said looking up. “Why did it have to be cupcakes of all things?”