Purgatory of Hope

‘Shafaq, I just don’t feel this has ended or it ever will. These ladies will never be able to feel safe in this place’. Lalita exclaimed in fear. Her teatime discussion had to be of fear, her favorite state of emotion to live in. Lalita’s comfort zone was to live in her fears. This way she never had to face them to go past them. She was the quitter.

‘Oh! please lalita, actually it was just a phase, our sisters will get past these feelings and atrocities in some time! We will get out of this very soon and stronger. BTW Shafaq, how do you even listen to her while she talks like this?’

Geeta while injecting herself with her much needed caffeine dose always radiated positivity and strength in the air. She was the fighter one. The one who chose death over giving up! 

 Her solution to Lalita’s fears was to make shafaq judge such situations considering her calmness, hopeful, and visionary nature. 

 ‘Lalita though you fear situations more than what they actually are but I do believe this time you are right to some extent’. 

 Shafaq was not so calm this time. Shafaq was the ‘saver’ one. The one who is always in search of a heaven.

 ‘Alas! Geeta exclaimed, here comes another damsel and distress’.

‘Geeta, you do remember how all of us were not allowed to choose to live or die’

Before Geeta could say anything, Lalita joined the bandwagon with Shafaq.

‘Shafaq. I couldn’t breathe for at least 5 minutes after that. They say you are dead if you don’t breathe for this long! Why didn’t I die Shafaq? Why didn’t he kill me right there?’

Lalita while sipping her tea still had questions of how death was destined for her.

‘What? He didn’t?’ Geeta was now shocked and more involved in Lalita’s conversation than she ever used to!   

‘I was alive Geeta. He had taken my soul by then, had pierced through my body. He had torn it apart but left it there breathing and in disgrace, for me and everyone else.

I still gathered up and ran for shelter. There was chaos all around. I people running towards and away from me. There were gunshots and fire. Screaming and snatching of emotions and safety. They were so loud nobody could have heard mine. Even if anyone had. Nobody would have bothered to come out for the rescue of a Sikh girl. They wanted us all dead either way. I had lost my way back home. Ahmed found me somehow, he guided me along. He held my hand, covered me in a chaddar, he found lying nearby. That must have been of another person they used in the name of sacrifice. Ahmed took me home. It was dawn by then. The last dawn of my life. The dawn in which my faith in humanity was lost and restored. Long one indeed. Very big for the last day’. 

 ‘So, you were home then. I came after dawn. Looking for you Lalita. After hearing so many rumors about Sikh women of the street. But your brother said you didn’t want to meet me.’

‘Yes, He didn’t want that for me, for anyone to see me.’ You know, he bombarded me with so many questions? But the one that hit me the most was? ‘Why have you come back?’ He thought I am here with Ahmed’ there was sarcasm and grief in Lalita’s voice at the same time. ’Little did he know he was my savior not my culprit’. Well, that was my definition, in his definition, his sister being seen with a guy is the culprit, his sister is the disgrace.’

‘Why didn’t you kill yourself there and then?’

‘Now that I think of it. He was right Why didn’t I kill myself then Maybe that would have hurt less. But no, maybe now I can rest in peace. Knowing that I have left no one crying for me behind.’

Geeta and Shafaq had never seen Lalita like that in their lifetime. She never spoke so openly of neither the happiness and never of her sorrows and wounds. She never let them open. She always protected every emotion. They did not interrupt her while she was telling her story. Despite the feelings of pain, they carried off their own.

‘That’s not true Lalita. I cried for you’. Shafaq, while wiping her tears off.

‘Yeah until, you were alive’. Until you didn’t fall prey to the Sikh Muslim riots and gunfire exchange’.

‘But how you were not safe from your home Lalita’. Geeta was still in shock and had questions.

‘I was. I was safe but not needed. I jumped in the well myself Geeta. I eased the discomforts of my family’. She had a smile on her face this time. The expression of relief.  

 ‘I wish we had met before we jumped. Before I jumped to save myself, and before you jumped to free yourself. I wish time had crossed that way.’

Geeta exclaimed in sorrow.

Shafaq was quiet for some time now. She hugged Lalita.

‘I don’t even know whether I died in my religion or not! I was forced to convert, was it before I heard gunshots or after, I don’t remember, when exactly we were attacked and killed.’ Haha!

‘But, how can you say that this won’t last forever! Lalita was still hopeless.

‘This won’t! Baba used to say sacrifices don’t go in vain! Shafaq finding safe heaven as always.

Our coming generations will be educated and safe! There will be no violence and forced deaths. Women will have equal rights to happiness, choices, and safety!

Shafaq had the glare of hope in her eyes!

Geeta was at peace that she has done her part for the betterment of her generation!

Lalita was still worried mentally but not as anxious as before.

The point of education and resources made some sense! She wanted to hold on to that reason as a solution for betterment and safety.

They had faced everyone’s share of suffering. No more for the future!

ALAS!